Never Have I Felt Like This...

I know that I was created to be a mother, wife and all of that good stuff that comes with life. I know that it takes time and patience for things to come to pass. I know I didn't wait for time or have the patience to make sure things were right for "D" or myself. I wonder sometimes, if I would've waited instead of letting my physical side have the best of me (and JD too), would things be different. I wonder if I had been the one to say,"Maybe we ought to slow this thing down", would things be different. I wonder if I said how I felt sooner than later would things be any different. But no longer am I living in 1993. No longer can I justify to anyone why I did those things. What I have to do is live in accordance to what my new manwants for my life. I need to truly enjoy Jenn and "D" before I left someone else have my heart.

Never have I felt like I can be myself and enjoy all of who Jenn is. It bothers me and hurts to be seperate from my first love and not have that relationship (covenant) with him again, but I would much rather live with Jesus and submit to Him rather than live out of order because the man I needed to be my Jesus (in the home) wants me to be head of the household. I love Jesus too much to let a human come between us. It is not that deep.

I love you all who continue to pray that trouble don't last always in our lives. Thank you for being an inspiration for me to keep moving forward.