Whew......Pt. 3

Ok, so by now I am sure you have figured out that I know nothing really about the marriage that I thought was between Jesus, JD and I. I thought I did. I guess we have different views on what marriage is and the 3 people it should consist of.
So, at this stage in the game based on his actions over the course of three weeks, he has decided that his madea is right and that I should just follow suit because that is what he has done all of his life. I have an issue with that.

And I know that guys are a little slower than women, but come on now, seriously. How many "lives" are you supposed to have before you finally decide in your mind, you are going to get it right? Or that you are going to do what's best for you instead of letting someone tell you its cool. Having an opinion is one thing, telling you what to do verbatim is another.

JD would yell it from the rooftops that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Everyone knew before I did... :) But the actions that followed were nothing like the words he expressed so eloquently. Now often I would see in his eyes how he felt about me (when others were around), I would feel as if everything was alright.. until I would hear in my head the scratching of the LP....Reality sets in again !!! Man, I REALY need the smiley expression.... Here is my thought process at this point: if he loves me like he says he does, why does it hurt so bad to be with him and why do I feel like trashy leftovers??

Now to give you a little more history of us, we have been in each other's lives off and on over the past 10+ years. So, I have known about all of his past relationships, friends and what not. The last relationship he had before "getting hitched" to me, was one of the best he had been in. Well, silly me thought she made him grow up !! PRAISE YE THE LORD. And the whole time that relationship was going on, I saw someone that I had never seen in all of the years of knowing him. Wow... I want that man right there... And so, I prayed and ask the Lord is this him? No one else makes me feel the way he does....